A reflection of 2018

(Inspired by Leonie Dawson)

Every year I take time to reflect on the past year and create new “goals” for the coming year. I don’t love the word goals because if I don’t achieve them I feel bad. So I like to look at them as intentions instead.

At the beginning of 2018 I wasn’t so sure what I wanted to do. I sort of wanted to fly away, which is why my word for the year was ASTRAL.

I always have pictures on my computer to remind me what my intentions are, so I had those and they helped me feel somewhat grounded.

My main intentions were to buy a cabin in the woods, host two retreats, go on a retreat, create more intimacy with my husband and laugh with my kids as much as possible, and help a lot of people. Oh and re-design my bedroom, which didn’t happen.

Looking back I accomplished everything except re-designing my bedroom. Maybe wanting to fly away was a good start.

The Word Astral

This word did nothing for me. Really. I paid no attention to it. I think I wanted something extraordinary to happen from choosing astral. And at the same time I didn’t want to choose a theme word for the year because my word for 2017 put me in the washing machine and spun me around. I wanted an easier year. I wanted to do what I wanted when I wanted. I didn’t want to focus on personal growth, although I did it anyway because my brain is wired that way.

I didn’t fly away but my stepdad did. And it was the hardest death I have ever grieved. THE HARDEST. And I learned the most.

There is nothing harder than losing someone you love. Nothing harder.

The Cabin In The Woods

When I was 23 I wrote in my journal that I wanted to marry my husband and live in the woods in Tahoe. I am 41 and we did it! We didn’t move; we compromised and bought a vacation home. It was a great idea.

I love the trees, they always make me feel grounded and “like” myself. Living in the Bay Area makes me feel depressed and anxious sometimes. I don’t really like it but there are reasons why it is good for us to stay there.

So now I have a place in the trees to retreat to. Thank goodness for that.

Next up, beach house….

Host Two Retreats

Yep, that happened. Business was really good this year. I hosted a retreat in Mill Valley, which is one of my favorite little towns in CA. It was an intimate retreat with 7 women, all of them part of my 6 month transformation program. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

My other retreat was in Occidental, CA, another one of my favorite little towns in CA. It was at The Lotus Feed and it was beautiful and fulfilling.

Going On a Retreat

I woke up one morning and myself told myself that I was going to Ireland on a retreat. SAY WHAT? I have never felt the urge to go to Ireland and I would be away from my family for 12 days. Becca Piastrelli lead the retreat and well, I love her to pieces. And so I listened to myself and I went. It was another one of the greatest experiences of my life. I missed my family after 5 days and I wanted to go home badly but I stayed and met some of the greatest women and learned more about myself in 12 days than I did in one year. And I participated in the Bealtine Festival at the belly button of Ireland. We called in the balance of Masculine and Feminine energy. It was brilliant.

Intimacy With My Husband

We went on a dinner date once per week; we have been doing that since we married, 11 years ago. He is my greatest teacher of acceptance and love and always has been. And he will continue to be so, no doubt.

Last week I realized I might be a little bit possessive over him. I like him all to myself. I don’t like to share him.

My favorite getaway was Pacifica, CA. We stayed in a little cottage over the ocean. I took a bath outside which is one of my favorite things to do.

Laughing With My Kids

I have created a life where I can spend as much time with my kids as possible. I take them to school every morning and pick them up most afternoons. Last year was the last year I will walk them into school. My oldest is 11 and he isn’t interested in having me walk him to his classroom. That’s cool, he is growing up. And so my youngest, well he goes along with his older brother.

My favorite vacation was our National Parks Road Trip. Zion, Grand Teton, and Yellowstone. So much beauty on this earth. So much connection with each other.

We laughed a lot. And we cried a lot too.

Help As Many People As Possible

That happened. My work is helping people. I was in close contact with 13 clients,; they were my main focus for the year. I taught many yoga classes including my kids classrooms, Give One Dollar A Day raised thousands of dollars and we helped a lot of families.

It was a successful year in business. I don’t know my exact numbers but I know I doubled my income from last year.

Try New Things, Meet New People

I tried making leather shoes and leather earrings. I had pure cacao in ceremony for the first time. Since then, I have sat in three ceremonies and don’t plan on stopping. I love the medicine. I met three new really good friends and so many other really cool people. I made a macramé and beaded wall hanging. I recorded a new video for my website. I tried new restaurants. I made body products and incense. What else? I am sure there is more but that is all I can think of right now.

Sisterhood

It was my favorite year in Sisterhood. Lots of ceremonies and sister circle time. Lots of learning about how to be in circle, how to lead circle and how to honor everything, from the stars, to the moon, to the trees, to the earth, to the woman sitting next to me. Lots of love sent my way. Lots of support and celebrations, lots of crying and healing. I live for connection. I love deep meaningful conversations. I love real authentic communication. That all happened in sisterhood.

Recharging For The Future

When looking at my intentions for the coming year, I go with what is calling to me. I don’t get caught up in how it will happen or if it will happen. I don’t prioritize one over the other. If it aligns, it will show up in my life easily. It always does. If it doesn’t align, it waits until another time or it may not happen at all. I put it out there and then I sit back and practice presence. For if I live in the future for to much time, I loose myself.

What is on the desktop for 2019? (Or what am I creating)

FREEDOM from the negativity in my mind (keep the mind clear)

Treating my body with extra care as I grow older (always important)

A retreat in Mexico, Mill Valley, and Massachusetts (I am coming your way East Coast)

A bedroom makeover (maybe it will happen this year)

No shopping policy (this one is going to be a challenge, I think)

Acceptance and Togetherness and Laughter (always)

Japan or Portugal or Spain or Peru or Kenya or Bali (because travel)

Knitting, guitar, cacao, and singing lessons (because I have wanted to learn these things for most of my life)

Intentional spending and money re-organization (this is a must)

Upgrade Business Systems (Yep)

Net Income of $62,000 (money intentions)

A book (because I am already writing one)

What do YOU want to create in 2019?

With Love, Shauna